Fans have cruelly pointed out a prophecy by a giant orange mascot after power couple Lindsey Vonn and PK Subban declared their break-up in a cringeworthy double announcement, teasing the hockey hunk that “Lindsey could do better”.
Daring furry Philadelphia Flyers figurehead Gritty took aim at NHL ace Subban last year, holding up a hilarious sign informing him in no uncertain terms that glamorous Olympic skiing champion Vonn was out of his league.
Cheeky Gritty’s words, daubed after the pair had announced their engagement, came back to haunt the social media sensations on Wednesday as they shocked celebrity gossip lovers by dramatically revealing their parting.
“Reason for the split below,” declared one Twitter joker, adding an iconic photo of the towering costumed beast lurking behind Subban while he was on the ice with the New Jersey Devils in late 2019.
“Not like they need to take a bullet for him,” said another, describing the taunting creature as “an immortal being”.
An avalanche of saddened reactions collided with predictable cynicism about whether the split was as newsworthy as it proved in the US, dominating the headlines as the sporting celebrities, who have a combined Instagram following of more than 3.1 million, made their public address in tandem.
Both big names couched their announcements in curious language, simultaneously saying that they had “decided to move forward separately” and “loved each other immensely”.
“He is a kind, good man and someone I respect a great deal,” added two-time world champion Vonn, while Subban gushed: “Lindsey is one of the most kind and caring people I know. I will always treasure our time as a couple together and the many laughs we shared.”
The lovers were well known for leaving little to the imagination as they shared snaps from their life together on their heavily-followed platforms.
“I’m thankful for having someone that makes me better everyday,” Subban said less than a month ago, adding that a picture of Vonn clamping her mouth around his bottom lip, published as part of the latest series of shots of the apparently besotted pair, “makes me better”.
“Love you, LV, and I’m lucky to have you. Every year I love you more.”
Less than three months ago, 36-year-old Vonn had produced a set of six photos of the couple kissing on a beach and cruising across the sea in swimsuits.
“You make my life better,” the revered athlete said, tagging Subban into a post dripping in sentiment. “I love you.”
pk subban and lindsey vonn breaking up when they were literally the only celebrity couple to ever matter is a very fitting way to end off the year
— loui eriksson’s #1 fan (@stansmylstan) December 29, 2020
2-3 years is tops for her. Then she’s gotta move on…
— Dr Susan ❤️🇺🇸 (@shangrimom) December 30, 2020
The funniest thing to me will always be the clichés following breakups. It’s like, “I don’t want to have sex with you ever again(usually), or be around you, and you annoy me in every way but,””We Will Always Remain Friends.” “I respect you.” “It’s not you it’s me.”
— Scott (@nhlhockey85) December 30, 2020
A seemingly idyllic trip off the coast of Mexico earlier in the year had seen Vonn picture herself on a boat with Subban and friends, writing: “Thankful to be surrounded by these amazing humans who make me laugh every day.”
Some fans took the opportunity to take a swipe at Subban for his form. “She seems toxic as f*ck anyway,” said one.
“I watched a GQ interview with them both and she was a b*tch to him. Maybe he’ll unleash the [former team] Montreal [Canadiens] PK now.”